I never saw that little doggie again unfortunately, though it doesn't stop me for looking out for him every time I pass that way. A lot of things have happened in between the last post and this one - I found a lovely lovely apartment, I've attended 4 Music Matters, have had my mum and a good friend here, travelled down to Hangzhou, gone for an obscene number of massages, spent way too much money, and survived Summer Course.

Perhaps I should just admit to myself I'm way too lazy to maintain a regular blog. And yet, the fact that I once did post regularly nags at me like an itch that you can't scratch and that'll never go away. I've invested too much time, energy and effort in the past to just throw it all away. Perhaps it's like love - all heady and overflowing with enthusiasm at the beginning but which mellows and gradually simmers down as time flows on, and even after it's gone, still hovers in the air like the memory of summer, like the echo of laughter. Perhaps; probably.

And perhaps, possibly, I'll pick it up again, that the urge to write will seize me once more and whirl me away in a storm of passion. Perhaps, possibly, I'll actually have things worth writing about - not the sometimes-calculated aesthetically pleasing prose I admit I fall prey to, but truth.

I suppose I should say something about teaching, since I did move hundreds of miles north to do just that. But perhaps there's nothing to say because things are good. Because life IS good that there's no need to gloat. Because I'm satisfied and content that I feel no urge to proclaim it to the world. I wouldn't say I've found my calling because I honestly haven't yet, but I can say this - teaching is rewarding and I'm working with children whom I love. Getting into work at 9am on Saturdays and Sundays isn't my ideal situation only because I'm not a morning person, but I've yet to come across a day I really, truly, whole-heartedly dread going in to work.

There have been times during the two month madness that was Summer Course when, mentally and physically exhuasted, I've had to drag myself out of bed, but the fact that I've got wonderful colleagues who genuinely care about each other and kids I look foward to seeing really helps.

So I guess I can genuinely, honestly say: I'm happy :)

I met this really cute little doggie this morning on the way to the bustop. He was a scruffy little black thing with the softest, most adorable eyes. I crossed the road, bent down to say "hi" and was rewarded by the happiest, most energetic yipping and jumping (slobering included). He followed me all the way to the bustop, jumping and tangling himself up with my legs and just refused to go away!

I tried to shoo him off to catch my bus but alarmingly, he ended up trying to cross the 3-lane road to the concrete divider. WHY?? I couldn't bear seeing him standing in the middle of a busy road, twitching each time a car or bus zoomed by. A little crowd of bystanders soon gathered, all wondering what that silly little thing was doing in the middle of the road.

"Is he your dog?" asked the road sweeper uncle.
"No, he isn't."
"He's taken to you! Bring him home!"

Not that the thought didn't cross my mind.

Too worried to board my bus and go, I slapped my thigh, come here, boy, called him off the road to safety and headed to the cart stall to get him some food. He must have somehow lost me when I was waiting for the crepes to cook because I noticed him darting furiously round, sniffing at every stranger, before darting away again.

Come here, boy, again, and he bounded over with all the enthusiasm and glee he could muster. Leading him away from the road to a safer patch of grass, I gave him half of the warm crepe and reluctantly slunk away while he was busily occupied.

If I had the means, I would have taken him home. Unfortunately I have yet to find a home for myself. On the way home, I realised I still had half the crepe in my bag. Where is he? I thought as I passed the patch of grass I'd left him food that morning. The crepe is gone, but so was he. Disappointment, but perhaps I'll see him again tomorrow.

"You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin
One storm could come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You could chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all you heart
For all the right reasons
And in a momemt they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love anyway"

- Martina McBride "Anyway"

Lovin’ you...
This is the right thing to do
How can I ever change things
That I feel

If I could
Maybe I'd give you my world
How can I
When you won't take it from me

Chorus:
You can go your own way Go your own way
You can call it ... Another lonely day
You can go your own way Go your own way

Tell me why
Everything turned around
Packing up
Shackin’ up’s all you wanna do

If I could
Baby, I'd give you my world
Open up
Everything's waiting for you..

- "Go Your Own Way" Fleetwood Mac

Michael Johns is hothothothothothothawwwt!!!! gah.. why don't we have men like that here...

We wrote so many letters when we were young.. countless, endless, pages upon pages upon pages. But of course, that was before life got consumed by the internet and e-mail. Am I that old, that I actually lived through a time without the internet? And I wonder whether something human has been lost with the death of letter writing.

I used to write with lyrical ease, pen scrawling across paper, words tumbling out, thoughts flowing. Now, I type and inscribe with digital 1s and 0s, and I think, a little of the magic is lost.

So many letters.. I'd forgotten them all...